Say what you will. I’m not listening. Only I am and that’s the bitch. I hear everything. You restrain, but I can’t help myself. I want it all – wisdom, jizzum, kingdom ready or not, here I come in your hair, come on the tits of a bitch who laps it up and loves it up the twat like a barren witch with a broomstick, come inside, come in my ears so I hear you. Because I love it when you speak. I ache to reply, to make you remember and keep you coming back for more, until all you do is come, never go. Nowhere. Never. Always and forever. Amen.
That’s how I pray these days. Takes it all away. That and this – or I should say these. So many tasty treats. But it hasn't always been like this – or that – ha ha! So funny. Nonsense has no time for me. I’ve pretended to have so much for so long, I have none. Nothing. Never have, just patterns repeating–
Feasting
Fasting
Coffee
Coke
Whiskey
Weed
Smack
Smoke
Mescaline
Mushrooms
Rinse and repeat
In case of emergency, break glass.
Imagine living day in and day out in the interest of others. Imagine every one the same. All of them. It’s easy. Living solely for their sake isn’t living. It’s service. Serve yourself first. Secure your own mask before helping others with theirs. That’s the lesson I learned in flight which I didn’t know at take-off. Vision obstructed, I gazed outside for answers. So many questions, unasked and forgotten. But answered. Answered in the call of the road, the globe, and a seething resentment for the fact I am a man. Obsession is my sickness. For all I know I’m already dead, stuck on this immortal shit like a scratched record, scratched record, scratched record, scratched record, scratched record, scratched record, scratched record, scratched record…
No I Can't first appeared in Having A Whiskey Coke With You, Vol. 1 Iss. 3, September 2011
Download a copy here: http://havingawhiskeycokewithyou.tumblr.com/
That’s how I pray these days. Takes it all away. That and this – or I should say these. So many tasty treats. But it hasn't always been like this – or that – ha ha! So funny. Nonsense has no time for me. I’ve pretended to have so much for so long, I have none. Nothing. Never have, just patterns repeating–
Feasting
Fasting
Coffee
Coke
Whiskey
Weed
Smack
Smoke
Mescaline
Mushrooms
Rinse and repeat
In case of emergency, break glass.
Imagine living day in and day out in the interest of others. Imagine every one the same. All of them. It’s easy. Living solely for their sake isn’t living. It’s service. Serve yourself first. Secure your own mask before helping others with theirs. That’s the lesson I learned in flight which I didn’t know at take-off. Vision obstructed, I gazed outside for answers. So many questions, unasked and forgotten. But answered. Answered in the call of the road, the globe, and a seething resentment for the fact I am a man. Obsession is my sickness. For all I know I’m already dead, stuck on this immortal shit like a scratched record, scratched record, scratched record, scratched record, scratched record, scratched record, scratched record, scratched record…
No I Can't first appeared in Having A Whiskey Coke With You, Vol. 1 Iss. 3, September 2011
Download a copy here: http://havingawhiskeycokewithyou.tumblr.com/
